Well, here we are. We have reached the end of the Marriage Myth Series. I hope that these articles in some way, shape, or form have been enlightenin, uplifting, and challenging for you. Just in case you missed one, I have provided the titles and links to four previous articles:
- Myth #1: Marriage is about COMPROMISE.
- Myth #2: Find Someone that will MAKE YOU HAPPY.
- Myth #3: Marriage is about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
- Myth #4: All you need is LOVE.
Marriage Myth #5: Marriage is FOREVER.
What?! This is just ridiculous!
Before you stop reading, please hear me out. I am not suggesting that people enter into marriage entertaining the idea that their marriage is likely to end in divorce. Absolutely NOT!
Although I believe there is a place for statistics, I highly encourage couples to NOT think of themselves as “just another statistic.” The burden of making a marriage what a couple wants it to be is truly in their hands. Realistically, no one can predict with absolute certainty how their marriage will fair after it goes through its share of suffering. I think we can all assume our marriages will face some rough patches, if we enter into our marriages with unconditional commitment, optimism, intentionality, and hope for longevity, then we drastically increase our chances of fulfilling the marital vision. When we approach our marriages from this mindset, we give our marriages a real shot of surviving the storms of life.
Therefore, when I say that marriage is NOT forever, what I mean is that one day our marriages will come to an end. Hopefully, this will be through death from old age, but nonetheless, it will end. Our traditional marriage vows even points to this reality – ‘til death do us part. Holy Scripture from the Bible even tells us that in the afterlife we will not be married (Luke 20:34-36). This world is full of loss. If you plan on living a full life on earth, then you will probably deal with more than your share of it. When we get married, we aren’t thinking a
bout the reality that one day, one of us will likely say goodbye to the other. While one enters into the hands of God through death, the other is left on earth only to endure more losses until their time comes.
This guy is such a downer!
Before you chalk this article up to a “bleak perspective of marriage,” please give me one more chance and read on. The reality that we can, and probably will, suffer greatly because of the type of love and intimacy that can exist in a long-term marriage is downright terrifying to me. However, this reality HAS to exist to in order for our relationships to be as meaningful and powerful as we hope to make them. We simply can’t love as deeply if there were no chance of deep loss. We could never invest as strongly if there never was a chance of a crash. It is the RISK component that often makes our endeavors worthwhile. We risk getting hurt; we risk getting our hearts broke; we risk suffering loss – all in effort to live a life that is meaningful and fulfilling. Therefore, the reality of loss is what should motivate us to be intentional with our marriages and to not become complacent in our marriage.
Instead, we use the reality of loss to create and eat up all the SWEETNESS that a healthy, loving, and Godly relationship can provide.
I encourage you all to not simply be another statistic, but instead, to strive and do whatever it takes to create longevity in your marriages. If your “sweetness” has turned to “bitterness,” please consider asking a professional to help navigate through your marital struggles to recreate a relationship you can confidently and willingly invest in. God bless you all.