Weathering the Storm: When Devastation Hits Home

“You’ve never seen it miss this house, and miss that house, and come after you!”                                  

Dr. Jo Harding (played by Helen Hunt in movie Twister, 1996)

The quote above is from one my favorite movie scenes because it reflects the harsh reality of the injustices we experience.  Underneath this statement lies the wounded question of “Why me?”  If you’ve been on this earth for any lengthy period of time, you have probably asked some form of the question.

I think of the wife who discovers her husband is cheating.  I think of the teenager that loses not one, but both parents to illness.  I think of the community forever changed by a school shooting.  I think of the victims of Hurricane Katrina (2005), the May 3^rd Tornado (1999), and the Indian Ocean Tsunami (2004). I think of the Oklahoma City bombing, 9/11, and the Aurora massacre. I think of Job who lost his wealth, his health, his business, and most devastatingly, all ten children.  Although the Lord blessed Job with ten more children (42:13), I present to you this question: Can children really be replaced? 

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” – Psalm 22:1

Is this not how we feel some times? During difficult times, doesn’t it feel as if God has hidden his face from us (cf. Psalm 88:14)? If you wonder as to whether or not we should be asking these questions, I seem to recall Jesus Christ, himself, uttering the words of Psalm 22:1 as he hung on the cross (Matthew 27:46).  Yes, he was fulfilling Scripture, but he was also reflecting on his emotional struggle with having to endure the cross.  The fact that Jesus was very much human becomes incredibly evident at this point in his story.

The reality is that when bad things happen to good people, we want to know “WHY?” We try to make sense of a reality where tragedy and injustice are inflicted upon the good and faithful.  Although this question is instinctual, if left to its own, it can haunt our very existence at no avail until the end of our days.  It is perfectly fine to have the questions and even to attempt to find the answers.  This is actually the first step in the healing process.  However, the next step is to accept that there are no “good enough” answers to this question.  At that point the question changes from “Why did this happen to me?” to “What do I do now that this has happened?”

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” – Fredrick Nietzsche

Answering the question of “What now?” or “How do I go on?” will be different for each individual.  However, this is what I can safely say will be universal when one experiences the injustices of life: You will be forever changed. You will emerge a different person with a different point of view.  You will be faced with the challenge of redefining yourself and finding your new meaning and purpose for this life.  This is often a challenging and not-so-pleasant journey.  After all, no one likes their life, their existence, their identity to be thrown into question.  However, once we have made it to the end of this seemingly impossible journey, life can become more gratifying and rewarding than we have ever dreamed possible.

My encouragement to you is to hang in there.  Find a good support system that you can lean upon when you are weak and heavy laden.  Turn to God.  Ask Him your questions.  Shed your tears. Shake your fists.  When you believe you are ready, abandon your quest for answers.  Forgive yourself. Forgive your enemies.  Accept your new reality.  Find your meaning.  LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Book Recommendations:

·         Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

·         Forgiving the Devil by Terry Hargrave

·         Hurting with God by Glenn Pemberton

·         Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg