Marriage Myth #2: Find someone that will MAKE YOU HAPPY!
So, we continue our Marriage Myth series. First, we talked about how how our culture supports the notion of COMPROMISE in a marriage, but that approach could lead to bigger problems down the road. Now, I bring to your attention the second article in this series:
Myth #2: Marriage is about MEETING EACH OTHER’S NEEDS or MAKING EACH OTHER HAPPY.
When couples come into therapy, it is likely for me to hear at some point the following words uttered from one or both of their lips – s/he is not meeting my needs.
I understand that for the most part they are reflecting on the fact that their partner is not pulling their weightin the marriage. However, our culture tends to push this idea that my spouse has a responsibility for meeting MY needs. This simply is not the case. The way I see it is that I have needs for healthy functioning, my spouse has needs for healthy functioning, and our marriage has needs for healthy functioning. I am responsible for meeting my needs and doing my part in meeting the needs of the marriage, but my spouse is responsible for meeting her own needs.