Sex Addiction Group

Joshua Nichols

Marriage Counselor, Family Counselor, Sex Addictions Therapist

Marriage

Marriage Myth #2: Find someone that will MAKE YOU HAPPY!

Sun, 10/25/2015 - 16:22 -- josh

So, we continue our Marriage Myth series.  First, we talked about how how our culture supports the notion of COMPROMISE in a marriage, but that approach could lead to bigger problems down the road.  Now, I bring to your attention the second article in this series:
Myth #2: Marriage is about MEETING EACH OTHER’S NEEDS or MAKING EACH OTHER HAPPY.  
 
When couples come into therapy, it is likely for me to hear at some point the following words uttered from one or both of their lips – s/he is not meeting my needs.  

 

I understand that for the most part they are reflecting on the fact that their partner is not pulling their weightin the marriage.  However, our culture tends to push this idea that my spouse has a responsibility for meeting MY needs. This simply is not the case.  The way I see it is that I have needs for healthy functioning, my spouse has needs for healthy functioning, and our marriage has needs for healthy functioning.  I am responsible for meeting my needs and doing my part in meeting the needs of the marriage, but my spouse is responsible for meeting her own needs.  

Marriage Myth #1: Marriage is about COMPROMISE

Fri, 10/16/2015 - 11:41 -- josh
 
Our culture today adheres to a set of marriage principles that I believe is not helpful, and sometimes even detrimental, to the marital relationship.  In this series that I have entitled “Marriage Myths,” I address some of these teachings or philosophies that believe to be “bad advice” for those considering marriage and/or those who are struggling in their marriage.  Although I never expect others to adhere exactly to my viewpoint; however, I hope this series will at minimum get your wheels turning about some of these common teachings on marriage.  And so we begin

Marriage Myth #1: Marriage is about COMPROMISE.

This is probably one of the most common phrases I here from the couples that come in for marriage counseling – “Now, I know marriage is built on compromise, but…..”  Can you hear the resentment brewing in that statement?  It is funny to me that the term “compromise” is only used with a positive connotation when we are talking about marriage.  Would a soldier want to be in war with someone who is known for compromising their position? If you operate heavy machinery for a living, would you want to work with equipment that has been compromised?  If you work in the business world, would you want to be in business with someone who tends to compromise their ethics?

NEWSFLASH! SEX IS NOT DIRTY: Six Ways to Change How You Think About Sex

Mon, 03/04/2013 - 22:33 -- josh

In the season premier of the hit series Duck Dynasty, Phil and Miss Kay, as they are known, are witnessed bantering back and forth about their sexual relationship.  Phil very clearly implies that he wants some “lovin’” and Miss Kay conveys that he isn’t getting any action until he cleans himself up. 

Phil and Miss Kay, who are high school sweethearts, are at the top of this family hierarchy.  If you are a regular follower of the show, you’ll see that they have brought up a family on the foundation of God and godly principles.  It is not uncommon to hear them bring up God in conversation and each episode is usually ended with the family gathered around the dinner table where Phil leads them in a prayer.

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Individual Counseling

Do you struggle with feeling anxious or depressed? Have you experienced more than your share of injustices? Have you experienced an agonizing loss with loneliness, helplessness and guilt? If so, you might consider working with a professional counselor.

 

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Are you looking to connect with your mate on a deeper level? Do you want to restore intimacy or repair the hurt caused by infidelity? If you feel like your relationship is one of high conflict, and resolving problems seems like an unachievable task, then please consider couples counseling.

 

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Whether you have adult children or children still living in the home, as long as you are a parent, it is never too late to make changes. If you desire to have a better relationship with your children; or, if you need help in areas such as discipline and boundary setting, then please do not hesitate to call me to set up your first appointment.

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Seminars

As a licensed marital and family therapist, I have extensive training and experience in working with couples and family.  For more than a decade I have devoted my career and ministry to serving couples and family in the professional counseling setting. I have developed these seminars based on my clinical expertise and experience in working with marriages and families over the years.  I currently offer the following seminars:

Parenting R.I.S.K.S., LIfelong Rewards. Building Relationships that Last a Lifetime

The 5 Myths of Marriage

The V-Factor: Marriage Seminar (in development)

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Special Speaking Engagements

I have experience speaking to religious organizations, academia professionals, non-profit and self-help organizations. I have spoken on mental health topics such as anxiety and depression, self-injury, control, and teenage drug and alcohol addiction. I have presented on relational topics, including but not limited to communication, sexuality and intimacy, blended families, parenting and the parent-child relationship, and forgiveness.

I am also available to speak on other mental health and family-related topics. Please contact me if you are interested in having me speak at your event.

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