Divorce-Proofing Your Marriage: In-Laws Don't Have to be Outlaws

We often cut up and joke about our in-laws. Mother-in-laws seem to have it the worst as they have become the butt of many jokes. As I write this a commercial just came on poking fun at mother-in-laws. The reality is that in-laws are a source of contention for many married couples. As a marriage and family therapist, I can't even begin to count how many times I have had conversations with couples on this very matter. But what if your in-laws could actually help your marriage? What if your in-laws could actually benefit your commitment to your marriage? I actually believe this is possible.

Here is my challenge to you as one of many ways to divorce-proof your marriage - Fall in LOVE with your IN-LAWS. You might be thinking, "WHAT?!" Yes, work hard at loving your in-laws. This will be harder for some than others (and maybe impossible for many). However, if you can fall in-love with your in-laws, when things get tough in your marriage, it becomes one more thing you have set in place that encourages you to hang in there; because if you lose your spouse to divorce, you will most likely lose his/her parents as well. Therefore, loving your in-laws gives you more incentive to keep your marriage healthy or, if it isn't healthy, to work hard at getting it that way. On the other hand, a bad relationship with your in-laws just makes it easier to give up.

As I mentioned, falling in love with your in-laws will be harder for some than others. However, I encourage you to put out some effort to build lasting relationships with them anyway. Your marriage will be better for it. As always, your thoughts are welcomed.