Joshua Nichols

If you have been following this series on MARRIAGE MYTHS, then I hope to have challenged your paradigm of couple functioning when it comes to compromise, making each other happy, and unconditional love.  Now we come to the fourth myth in the series.

Marital Myth #4: All you need is LOVE

This is a very romantic idea, but it actually is a dangerous way to approach a marriage.The reality is that when people operate from this philosophy, they quickly find themselves becoming frustrated as they realize that love alone is simply not enough. 

There is a concept we often refer to in couple relationships known as compatibility.  In the therapy room, I often hear one or both parties express that they just “don’t think they are compatible.”  What couples often don’t understand is the compatibility is not something that happens naturally, but it is something that is achieved.

On October 24, 2015, we were reminded that evil is ever present in our world.  It has been a week since the tragedy struck the hometown of my alma mater, Stillwater, Oklahoma (home of Oklahoma State University), when a 25-year-old resident of the community barreled through an intersection congested with spectators who showed up that morning to watch the annual homecoming parade.  I was standing about 20-30 yards from that intersection when the accident happened – I witnessed the horror of this event.

Since this event, many of my family, friends, and colleagues have reached out to me and my wife (who was also there) to check on our well-being.  As you can imagine, this was a horrific event to witness – not just the actual crash, but the emotional horror that persisted in the aftermath.  Those are the parts that I wish I could un-see the most.

A day or so after the incident, I knew I wanted to write about it.  However, I wanted to give myself several days to think and process, and frankly, gather myself before I did.  Today at 10:31 a.m. marked one week since this senseless act took place. Now, being one week removed from the tragedy, I feel like I can finally put my thoughts into words.  Thus, below are 5 concepts that I have been trying to remind myself as I work on my own healing.