Sex Addiction Group

Joshua Nichols

Marriage Counselor, Family Counselor, Sex Addictions Therapist

Marital Myth #4: All you need is LOVE.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 22:29 -- josh

If you have be following this series on MARRIAGE MYTHS, then I hope to have challenged your paradigm of couple functioning when it comes to compromise, making each other happy, and unconditional love.  Now we come to the fourth myth in the series.

Marital Myth #4: All you need is LOVE

This is a very romantic idea, but it actually is a dangerous way to approach a marriage.The reality is that when people operate from this philosophy, they quickly find themselves becoming frustrated as they realize that love alone is simply not enough. 

There is a concept we often refer to in couple relationships known as compatibility.  In the therapy room, I often hear one or both parties express that they just “don’t think they are compatible.”  What couples often don’t understand is the compatibility is not something that happens naturally, but it is something that is achieved.

Marriage Myth #3: Marriage is about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Fri, 11/06/2015 - 17:25 -- josh

The MARRIAGE MYTH seris continues with Myth #3!! #3: Marriage is about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 

What?! Hold the phone! First, he tells us that compromise is out.  Then he tells us that finding a spouse that will "make me happy" is a flawed mentality.  Now this?  Surely this guy is mistaken!

No mistake. I believe this to be very true for married couples.  The idea of loving our spouses unconditionally is very romantic, but it is simply unrealistic.  The reality is that unconditional love in a marital relationship does NOT exist, at least not for a long time. Therefore, marriage is more about give and take when it comes to the emotional exchange that takes place.  A word you might be more comfortable with is “reciprocation.”    Thus, if one party feels like s/he is giving more than s/he is receiving, then it is likely that that marital relationship has enterered into a love deficit.

What #StillwaterStrong Means to Me

Sat, 10/31/2015 - 14:02 -- josh October 24, 2015, we were reminded that evil is ever present in our world.  It has been a week since the tragedy struck the hometown of my alma mater, Stillwater, Oklahoma (home of Oklahoma State University), when a 25-year-old resident of the community barreled through an intersection congested with spectators who showed up that morning to watch the annual homecoming parade.  I was standing about 20-30 yards from that intersection when the accident happened – I witnessed the horror of this event.

Since this event, many of my family, friends, and colleagues have reached out to me and my wife (who was also there) to check on our well-being.  As you can imagine, this was a horrific event to witness – not just the actual crash, but the emotional horror that persisted in the aftermath.  Those are the parts that I wish I could un-see the most.

A day or so after the incident, I knew I wanted to write about it.  However, I wanted to give myself several days to think and process, and frankly, gather myself before I did.  Today at 10:31 a.m. marked one week since this senseless act took place. Now, being one week removed from the tragedy, I feel like I can finally put my thoughts into words.  Thus, below are 5 concepts that I have been trying to remind myself as I work on my own healing.


Individual Counseling

Do you struggle with feeling anxious or depressed? Have you experienced more than your share of injustices? Have you experienced an agonizing loss with loneliness, helplessness and guilt? If so, you might consider working with a professional counselor.


Schedule an appointment today!

Marriage Counseling

Are you looking to connect with your mate on a deeper level? Do you want to restore intimacy or repair the hurt caused by infidelity? If you feel like your relationship is one of high conflict, and resolving problems seems like an unachievable task, then please consider couples counseling.


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Family Counseling

Whether you have adult children or children still living in the home, as long as you are a parent, it is never too late to make changes. If you desire to have a better relationship with your children; or, if you need help in areas such as discipline and boundary setting, then please do not hesitate to call me to set up your first appointment.

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As a licensed marital and family therapist, I have extensive training and experience in working with couples and family.  For more than a decade I have devoted my career and ministry to serving couples and family in the professional counseling setting. I have developed these seminars based on my clinical expertise and experience in working with marriages and families over the years.  I currently offer the following seminars:

Parenting R.I.S.K.S., LIfelong Rewards. Building Relationships that Last a Lifetime

The 5 Myths of Marriage

The V-Factor: Marriage Seminar (in development)

 Book a seminar today!

Special Speaking Engagements

I have experience speaking to religious organizations, academia professionals, non-profit and self-help organizations. I have spoken on mental health topics such as anxiety and depression, self-injury, control, and teenage drug and alcohol addiction. I have presented on relational topics, including but not limited to communication, sexuality and intimacy, blended families, parenting and the parent-child relationship, and forgiveness.

I am also available to speak on other mental health and family-related topics. Please contact me if you are interested in having me speak at your event.

Book me for a special speaking engagement today!