Joshua Nichols

The couple relationship is a special kind of relationship. When things are going well, it can be one of the most meaningful and intimate relationships we could ever be a part of. However, when things are not going well, marriage or the couple relationship can sometimes feel like the bane of our existence. In my experience as a professional relationship counselor, communication often makes or breaks a relationship. Communication permeates every aspect of a relationship. In order to effectively resolve conflicts, couples have to be good communicators. In order to successfully develop a budget and/or financial plan, couples have to communicate well. In order to set adequate marital boundaries, a couple has to be on top of their communication game.

Effective communication is an extremely important aspect of having a healthy marriage. Below are 5 skills you can begin to incorporate into your relationship to improve your communication.

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The reality is that we, parents, are human.  No matter how experienced or educated we are as a parent, mistakes are inevitable.  The common adage “There’s no such thing as a perfect parent,” doesn’t even do it justice.  The fact is that we are miles and MILES away from the nearest road that leads to perfection.  This is a hard reality, but most of us have come to accept it.  However, what makes this reality even more troubling is that we know that our kids know.  THEY ARE ON TO US!

Since our kids already know about our imperfections, we might as well quit pretending that we are beyond reproach.  We need to give our kids permission to respectfully correct us when we do something out of line in our parenting endeavors.  When we do this we are teaching our children some valuable lessons for life. 

First, we are modeling for them how to handle criticism.  There is an opportunity here for us to show our kids how someone should appropriately respond to criticism or admonishment.  We do so by acknowledging the wrong-doing, apologizing, and thanking them for respectfully bringing it to your attention.

Secondly, we are giving them permission to speak up when their rights as a human being have been violated.  I believe that nothing gives us the right to mistreat another person.  We all should have a general respect for others simply because they are human beings.  As parents, we often don’t realize that when we scream/yell at our children, make empty threats, or even emotionally checkout/disconnect, we are violating that general principle of how we should treat others.  It is mistreatment plain and simple...  and we ALL fall prey to it from time to time.